A woman has revealed how she’s married to a gay man and the pair have two young kids together.
It doesn’t bother 35-year-old Brynn Embley though and she and Matthew Neilson, 33, still have great sex and chemistry.
They are actually happy married and have weekly sex feedback sessions to keep their relationship on track.
The mom-of-two describes herself as straight while her husband Matthew identifies as gay or pansexual, admitting he is “more attracted to men than women”.
Before they married in 2017 Matthew had dated both men and women but he’d never had sex with anyone, including Brynn.
And despite admitting he didn’t know if he’d ever enjoy being intimate with her, they tied the knot and became parents.
Brynn admits she sometimes feels insecure but said she feels the relationship is stronger because it’It is notThe focus is on physical chemistry.
The pair are members of the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-Day Saints – a faith which doesn’t condone same-sex relationships – and Matthew admits a strong motivation for dating women was so he didn’t have to be single and celibate forever.
Matthew met Brynn for the first time in church in early 2016, and after just a few dates, he came out that he was gay.
Matthew knew he was attracted towards men since he grew up, but he was a member of the Church that does not encourage homosexual relationships.
He was a man who dated women all through his twenties, and he was honest about his orientation. He received mixed responses so he was anxious about what Brynn would think.
To his surprise, however, she brushed it off.
The mom-of-two, who lives in Ypsilanti, Michigan said: “He looked straight at me and said ‘Brynn, I’m gay.’ I remember it because he seemed so serious – or like he was looking for some sort of reaction from me.”
“It just wasn’t a huge deal, he was with me, his choice – what else mattered?”
“I already knew that we didn’t have a strong chemical attraction as I had experienced with other boyfriends, but it didn’t really matter to me.”
“I know he thinks I’m attractive, and I know he’s drawn to me, and his sexual orientation didn’t negate those things.”
“I was really happy that I had a relationship where the selling point was liking and respecting each other as people.”
They dated for a while before he ended the relationship. Matthew had strong feelings for a man.
He said: “I don’t think that I actually had a lot of emotional bandwidth at that time because I was still trying to deal with my strong feelings about another guy.”
“It didn’t feel fair to either of us to keep up the relationship if I wasn’t sure about that basic attraction.”
They remained friends, but even Brynn’s then-boyfriend said they had chemistry, and they started dating again in September 2017.
Matthew, a postdoctoral researcher in psychology, said: “It was definitely a leap of faith because I still wasn’t certain what sex with Brynn, or any woman, would look like.”
“But we trusted that the other elements of our relationship were there and if that part was more difficult, we could work on it together.”
Brynn said: “There was this mutual feeling of complete and utter happiness – like he was my person.”
Matthew added: “I still was uncertain about the strength of our sexual connection. I tried to be as open as I could that I wasn’t sure whether I would even enjoy sex with her or with any woman.”
“But I think we both felt reassured that we enjoyed cuddling, holding hands, and kissing.”
The couple, who are an unconventional couple, keep their relationship on the right track with therapy and weekly sexual discussions scheduled in for every week of Thursday. They offer tips and feedback.
Brynn said: “We enjoyed kissing, and hoped everything else would at least be okay. I think that many more people are gay, bi, pan, or other, than have made that known openly.”
“A lot of my previous relationships revolved around that chemical attraction, not having that be the driving force was refreshing.”
“I think that liking and matching with a person is so much more central to a long-term relationship.”
“And it turns out that the sex thing works great, so it all worked out!”
Matthew added: “I had never had sex before, with a man or a woman.”
“I didn’t even really know myself how strong my orientation to one gender or another might be. While I was more attracted to men, in general, there had been a few women to whom I was really attracted.”
“I had a strong motivation to try really hard to make it work with a woman so that I didn’t have to be lonely and celibate for the rest of my life.”
“Obviously, not a great place for me or most of the women that I was dating.”
“I’ve heard gay men say that they can’t even imagine trying to be sexual with a woman, and I have never felt that way. It is still not the strongest part of our relationship, it is easy for me to wonder about what I might be missing if I were in a relationship with a man.”
“But that being said, we do enjoy having sex and being together in that way, which is a relief!”
The couple traveled to Manti, Utah, to finally tie the knot. They were finally able and able to be intimate.
Brynn said: “For a while, I would get stressed out if we weren’t having sex a certain number of times each week because I thought it meant that Matthew wasn’t enjoying it enough.”
“That’s not the case, and I try to remember that if we both feel satisfied sexually that’s all that matters.”
They even have weekly sex conversations scheduled in for every Thursday.
Brynn said: “We share whether we need more if there’s anything the other can do to help make that a better part of our marriage, and so forth.”
While Brynn is a straight woman, Matthew’s sexuality isn’t linear and he has identified as gay, pansexual and bisexual.
He said: “Pansexual is probably the most accurate – but it doesn’t feel all the way right because I am still mostly attracted to men.”
The unusual couple are now four years into their relationship, are happy and monogamous, and have two daughters – Guinevere, one, and two-year-old Amandine.
Brynn said: “Our religion teaches that marriage is only between a man and a woman, but we also want our children to be happy and secure in who they are and what or who they choose and are drawn to.”
“Our goal is to support them whatever that looks like.”
“There are also people who assume things about our relationship that are just plain wrong, “I really try not to focus on the negative or let negative comments get me down – but they do, and one way I combat that is by sharing.”
“We are so happy in this quirky, unique, sublime relationship.”
Follow Matthew and Brynn on Instagram @gayprofessordad
This story was originally published on The Sun. We have permission to reproduce it here.